we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I will pee on everything he values.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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