i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize