If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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