**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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