Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
