Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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