If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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