Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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