So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
