It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize