ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize