And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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