Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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