i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
sex in a hospital.. check
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
