is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I think i got beer on your cat.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
