you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
