fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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