I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
