if i can run in heels then i can drive
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
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