I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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