Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
