so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
