Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
