First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
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