My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
