The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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