it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Randomize
