Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
