when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
