Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
