Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
