wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I have aggressive nipples.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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