their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
