there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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