Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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