So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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