I like my sex mixed with concussions.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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