She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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