Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
