Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
