That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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