I think im going to throw up on grandma
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
