I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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