Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
