chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
