Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
you traded sex for a burrito?
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
