gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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