I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
