You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
