just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Randomize
