4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
