Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
