I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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