I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
