Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
