Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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