you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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