Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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