Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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