dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
