I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
