just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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