How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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