I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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